|now candy|

OK.

So, for those of you out there who might be thinking of dabbling around in HTML and would like to change a page font to Andale Mono (the font you are likely reading now unless your computer doesn't have it)– BOLD is NOT an option for this font.

It would have been nice to realize that three hours ago. It would have saved me about two hours and fifty-five minutes.

Or, rather, I could have spent that time getting knee-deep in something else, like say, page colors selection.

Even so, it's a spiffy font.

Things changed/added on now candy:

-Comments: now you can comment.

-Tracker: see how incredibly few people know about the now candy. See button at bottom of page, above Blogger button.

-Colors: working on it.

-Font(s): working on that, too.

-Photos: not available w/ free Blogger, but keep an eye on the sidebar links...

I don't know enough about optics to really say that, but this is effing great.

Six Things I Learned Listening to Temptation Island (no visuals, just audio)

1. Temptation Island is stupid.

2. Temptation Island is populated by 16 year-olds cleverly disguised as 20- and 30-somethings.

3. Men who assert they used to be called the "Ice Man" because "you can't break me" are actually cry-baby wussy-boys.

4. People who repeatedly assert they "don't care what other people think" in the same sentence clearly do care.

5. Sappy music is even more sappy when narrated by "I'm gonna tell him he's a jerk" and moderated by the cheesy moderator/host/instigator guy who keeps stepping in and asking sappy questions.

6. I must like teen drama because I actually remembered it was on and tuned in tonight.

Bonus knowledge: Pittsburgh TV comercials play the same tired old early 90s dance music as its dance clubs.

In the news today:

1. Hurricane Isabel heads for Pittsburgh
2. South America Yields Fossil Skeleton: Colossal Cuddly Rodent 'the Size of a Horse'
3. Disappointed with Hurricane Isabel So Far, Washington Post Reports Power Outages
4. Nearly Every State in Isabel's Projected Path Pre-declares State of Emergency but only South Carolina is a Federal Disaster Thus Far
5. Bed Bugs Making Comeback

It's this last news item that I've been thinking about since I heard it tonight. I heard it on NPR and I found the above old story on ABC News (other local news stations in VA and England also had stories).

Bed bugs. Aside from being gross and creepy, it weirds me out. Thrift Stores are suddenly in a different light.

I mean, somehow lice are less disturbing than bed bugs. They are small, they itch and drive you nuts, but they just sort of eat skin and stuff. They don't have a proboscis that pierces into your skin while you are sleeping and sucks your blood.

It's like having little insect vampires that come out of the woodwork at night and prey on you while you are sleeping.

Grandmother: "Good night sweetie, sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite" and it always bothered me. I remember asking what they are and she answered "Well, there used to be these little bugs that would live in your bed and bite you at night. They weren't like mosquitoes, they'd bite you even if you were under the blankets. I remember them when I was a little girl. I guess they got rid of them, you don't really hear about them anymore." I remember feeling better at this last part. Living in a trailer, in the woods, in Florida, we had bugs. I already knew about polio (my babysitter, Bobbie, was on crutches from childhood polio) and how that seemed to not be a problem any more. Bed bugs sounded about on the same order of horrible to me.

Since grandma was a known source of mis-information, I remember looking in my bed for them. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to see them with the Strawberry Shortcake scenes cluttering the white space on the sheets.

I checked with mom: "Do bed bugs exist?" (Yes, I probably said "exist," I was a dork kid.)

Answer: "They used to be but they don't exist any more. Why– is something biting you at night?"

Now they are back. What the hell? This has to be the fourth sign of the apocalypse.

Urrrgg.

I hate AOL.

So, for 15 days, I have been using a free AOL promotion to get online, via dial-up.

It was to tide me over until Verizon got their crap together to get my DSL up.

I'm on DSL now, as of about an hour ago. (YIPPEE!)

So, I called AOL to close my account. "Close" being the operative word here. I had been dreading this phone conversation, but I had my hopes up that it would be a pleasant experience.

The very nice Indian woman somewhere over in India being paid by AOL to not let me *close* my account tried very nicely to keep me on.

"No. Thank you. I just want to close my account"

Enter: her mock sadness and disbelief that I would want to do such a thing.

Obviously there were repeated questions as to why I was discontinuing my service (read: consumer research). My half went something like this:

"I just don't like AOL. I have my Verizon DSL service now and I no longer want to be an AOL customer."

"No, I am not interested in two months free service."

Enter here: pressure to be like everyone else. She said "Really? I've never had a customer turn down two free months free service."

I had to cut in: "Ma'am, honestly, I just moved to a new city and I was using a free AOL cd to tide me over until my DSL was connected. I _really_ am not interested in remaining an AOL customer. I simply want to close my account."

More consumer data gathering as to why I want to use Verizon vs. AOL.

"Actually, I really don't want to answer any more consumer questions. I don't want to give AOL any more customer information. Thanks."

She persisted (rather, her AOL script persisted). Plus, this was THE loudest phone connection I have EVER had. I had the phone volume turned down to its lowest setting and it was still too loud. I almost always have to have it max to hear the damn thing. Coincidence?

"No. Thank you, but I'm not interested."

"No. I just want to _close_ my account."

She pushed on.

Now I was pissed. Extremely annoyed. Mad. "NO. You listen to me. Now I am _mad_. I don't care if you give me free AOL for life, I don't want it. I don't like AOL, I don't like their pervasive advertising techniques; I don't like this phone conversation. [I went on, don't remember just what I said but I remained civil, albeit my voice was raised and I was very mad. Not at her, at AOL.] I will no longer be an AOL customer. You have been helpful [this was not true] and AOL has provided good internet dial-up service for me [this was true]. Stop trying to sell me AOL. I don't want to listen to any more deals, promotions, or answer any more questions. Before I get off this phone with you, I want my account closed and I want a confirmation code saying so. Now if you don't mind, please CLOSE my account."

Now *she* was annoyed. Cheerful persistent made a U-turn to curt. HeyÂ?that's fine with meÂ?please just *close* my fucking account before I'm charged something. I was sad that she was annoyed, but hell, I said "no" many many times before we had arrived at this point.

Within 30 seconds I had what I wanted. However, in mfrustrateded haste, I had forgotten to ask her to check if I had been charged anything. She gave me my confirmation code so fast that I thought she had hung up already.

"Ma'am."

"Ma'am."

Nothing.

"HeLLO?!"

Her: "Yes."

"Could you please check to see if I have been charged anything." (Of course, this was in the nice "please don't fuck me" voice.)

Her: "One moment. [pause] $23.00."

"Oh no. I shoudn't have any charges."

This went on for a moment. She was trying to tell me that my billing cycle had closed yesterday and I was calling today. Bullshit. Earlier she said I had free service on my _original_ promotion (free cd) until October something (which I knew because I had checked online last week AND I had only been using AOL for 15 days). I explained this to her, reinforced what I had said, and ...

Suddenly my bill was zero. Charge-free.

I'll have to double check my card account in a few days...

I hate fucking AOL. I'm sure they run down nice elderly grandmothers with their HUMMERs while dumping styrofoam cups and oily gunny sacks filled with cute helpless kittens into sewer drains that flow out to rivers. However, thankfully, this lady was not so annoyed to hose my bill. Hopefully.

grrrr.

I hate AOL.

First off:
Homework sucks. I never knew this because I never lived in a world without it. Until last August. One whole year later, I'm back at it. In the meantime I have become a soft, pansy-assed, homework-free loaf. However, old callouses come back quickly. The groove worn in my right middle finger from years of holding a pencil for hours is already back.

Second:
Yet again, I'm going to hell. This time it's for running the dishwasher. I really have no other justification other than I didn't feel like washing dishes tonight. It's unclear to me how, just last night, I did dishes and in the time since then I ate (at home) (1) cereal, (2) coffee, (3) OJ, (4) bread w/ nutella, (5) hot dog cooked on George Foreman grill, and I (6) made lunch to go (veggie sandwich during the construction of which I think I dirtied a knife). How in the hell did so many dishes get dirty and find their way into my extremely shallow sink? Do the cats throw wild dish-dirtying parties while I'm gone during the day?

So, for the first time since I moved in, I am running the dishwasher. I could go into the bathroom and run the tub water while I did the dishes in the kitchen and probably waste less water than what's going out the pipes right now via the dish washer. I can see it now, emblazoned on my ticket to hell, REASON FOR DEPARTURE: reckless running of dishwasher, especially after berating former house-mates of same.

I'm not too worried, though, if we take planes to hell (and obviously we will) I will either (a) miss my flight, (b) bring the wrong credit card, (c) have in my carry-on large metal dildos that are hollow inside and filled with hand rolled cigarettes laced with white talcum powder, (d) also have two vocal and not-so-happy cats in said carry-on, (e) wear the foulest smelling shoes possible and without socks, or (f) manage to talk the ticket person into a standby flight to Thailand, Denmark, or Hawaii. I'd end up taking Australia in a compromise. I hear they have guilt-free dishwashers down there.

OK. The camera is fantastic. Obviously I need a tripod now.

9 Fun Things From this Weekend:
1. Camera
2. Amazingly drunk Pittsburghers
3. The 3.5" wide Disco ball
4. The George Foreman Grill
5. The Play-Doe George Foreman Grill
6. The new card table (Mmm... card table... )
7. Camera
8. Pittsburgh detours
9. Camera

Pictures coming soon...