Wednesday, November 03, 2004
The Pig
Actually, this is all part of an awful, awful reality TV show.
We are all part of it.
For Sweeps Week, Fox will interrupt "The Swan" and Carl Rove will step out and say, "America, you've helped Fox get into the Guinness World Book of Records! Yep! Largest, longest-running, and most-real reality TV show yet- the entire world actually believed that not only did George W. Bush sue his way into office in 2000, that he actually won the popular vote in 2004! Come-on, I can't believe how gullible you are! We were a little worried when we had to just preemptively call Bush the winner for Florida in 2000, I mean, this was little ol' Fox News. But as soon as the networks hitched on, we knew we could pull this off. At that moment we realized that we could just make shit up. In fact, this whole thing just got easier and easier from that point on.
"We let Al Gore in on the little prank about half an hour ago so that he could take the Presidency as rightful popular vote winner, but he fell over dead as we were explaining to him the genius of the whole hanging chad bit. Now as soon as John Kerry figures out how not to look like he just saw his dead grandmother with a Brazilian wax job, he will join us on the stage and take up the reigns of the United States. Good thing, too. We originally planed to let George play out his second term, but Guinness World book contacted us and said that not only had we made it into the book, that they were closing and sealing this category for good. I guess being the winner forever is better than being the biggest winner yet. Ah, great, here's Mr. Kerry now... "
We are all part of it.
For Sweeps Week, Fox will interrupt "The Swan" and Carl Rove will step out and say, "America, you've helped Fox get into the Guinness World Book of Records! Yep! Largest, longest-running, and most-real reality TV show yet- the entire world actually believed that not only did George W. Bush sue his way into office in 2000, that he actually won the popular vote in 2004! Come-on, I can't believe how gullible you are! We were a little worried when we had to just preemptively call Bush the winner for Florida in 2000, I mean, this was little ol' Fox News. But as soon as the networks hitched on, we knew we could pull this off. At that moment we realized that we could just make shit up. In fact, this whole thing just got easier and easier from that point on.
"We let Al Gore in on the little prank about half an hour ago so that he could take the Presidency as rightful popular vote winner, but he fell over dead as we were explaining to him the genius of the whole hanging chad bit. Now as soon as John Kerry figures out how not to look like he just saw his dead grandmother with a Brazilian wax job, he will join us on the stage and take up the reigns of the United States. Good thing, too. We originally planed to let George play out his second term, but Guinness World book contacted us and said that not only had we made it into the book, that they were closing and sealing this category for good. I guess being the winner forever is better than being the biggest winner yet. Ah, great, here's Mr. Kerry now... "
