Monday, December 29, 2003
Aaron Copland: Music to Blend to
I tell you, I'm going all out.
First I buy a car.
Next, I buy a blender.
Where will the madness stop?
So. I've almost always lived in a household with a blender. Home, college, Colorado, it was great. Then, when I moved to DC, I was blenderless. Well, I don't have much room and, well, really just never bought a blender. I basically knew that one day it would be _the_ day and I would know that I could not go on without one. Figured there wasn't much point in getting one before then.
That day was today.
While sitting at work, trying to not fall asleep while sitting through someone talking, I was thinking of what I would get at the grocery store tonight.
Then I realized that buying more apples and frozen pizzas really wasn't going to cut it. I've punished my body for four months with the lack of will to eat properly. Enough is enough.
Actually, the thought didn't quite get articulated that nicely. It was like "I am hungry." I flashed back to a few days ago in MN when The Man From the Future pulled together a smoothie while I was trying to figure out how to get more awake. Then, I thought "I want a smoothie. Now." Of course, this was absurd on many levels given that (a) I was captive at work, (b) I had _nothing_ at home from which to make a smoothie unless chinese leftovers and a jar of olives would do (no–these are not proper smoothie-making materials), and not the least of the absurdities (c) I have no blender.
That was it.
I knew I would go to bed tonight the proud new owner of a blender. A great blender. A blender with which to blend things. Glorious things. Things such as mangos & yogurt and blackberries & goat's milk and other precious foods from which I can find nourishment.
Not to mention frozen alcoholic drinks! But that's for when I get back to DC...
And, tonight, I knew that not all was wrong with the world after all. Something that had puzzled me was finally resolved. When using other people's food processors, I always think to myself "Why the hell can't you just put this thing on a blender? Same motor, just a different blade and container?" (Do be aware that although I recognize the thoroughness of a food processor, I hate the things. Too bulky, too many pieces, and too hard to clean.) I knew the blender that was to be mine when I saw that this came with it.
Oh yes.
This is the most sensible thing since the toaster oven.
Now if only the blender had a sewing machine attachment...
First I buy a car.
Next, I buy a blender.
Where will the madness stop?
So. I've almost always lived in a household with a blender. Home, college, Colorado, it was great. Then, when I moved to DC, I was blenderless. Well, I don't have much room and, well, really just never bought a blender. I basically knew that one day it would be _the_ day and I would know that I could not go on without one. Figured there wasn't much point in getting one before then.
That day was today.
While sitting at work, trying to not fall asleep while sitting through someone talking, I was thinking of what I would get at the grocery store tonight.
Then I realized that buying more apples and frozen pizzas really wasn't going to cut it. I've punished my body for four months with the lack of will to eat properly. Enough is enough.
Actually, the thought didn't quite get articulated that nicely. It was like "I am hungry." I flashed back to a few days ago in MN when The Man From the Future pulled together a smoothie while I was trying to figure out how to get more awake. Then, I thought "I want a smoothie. Now." Of course, this was absurd on many levels given that (a) I was captive at work, (b) I had _nothing_ at home from which to make a smoothie unless chinese leftovers and a jar of olives would do (no–these are not proper smoothie-making materials), and not the least of the absurdities (c) I have no blender.
That was it.
I knew I would go to bed tonight the proud new owner of a blender. A great blender. A blender with which to blend things. Glorious things. Things such as mangos & yogurt and blackberries & goat's milk and other precious foods from which I can find nourishment.
Not to mention frozen alcoholic drinks! But that's for when I get back to DC...
And, tonight, I knew that not all was wrong with the world after all. Something that had puzzled me was finally resolved. When using other people's food processors, I always think to myself "Why the hell can't you just put this thing on a blender? Same motor, just a different blade and container?" (Do be aware that although I recognize the thoroughness of a food processor, I hate the things. Too bulky, too many pieces, and too hard to clean.) I knew the blender that was to be mine when I saw that this came with it.
Oh yes.
This is the most sensible thing since the toaster oven.
Now if only the blender had a sewing machine attachment...
...
Oh, and for the curious...
Christmas was WONDERFUL!
Christmas was WONDERFUL!
Fresh Reads for the New Year
Reason #698 why the Guardian exists: to publish stories such as
The best of British blogging.
Enjoy.
The best of British blogging.
Enjoy.
Pathetic Excuse of a Post
OK. So, this is 100% fresh copy from an e-mail I just wrote. Not even edited. Very sad, I know. (It was a good e-mail, though.)
Yeah, well, I was thinking "damn, I haven't posted in days" and "damn, I need to go to bed," and thought up this ingenious fix.
Enjoy.
"
Wow, that book your mom got me is absolutely fantastic, "The Da Vinci Code," by Dan Brown. I can't put it down. John was right, Jonathan Franzen (author of The Corrections) is a better writer, but these are completely different books. This guy tells a story like you are being dragged through it by your hair. And you like it. The chapters are short, and each one sort of ends in its own little cliff hanger. The chapters alternate between scenes (action action action), and it seems that the majority of chapters end on the left page and the next chapter begins on the right page, so that when you glance over there (trying to stick the post-it note flag to hold the page so you can go to bed), the first few words hurl you back into where you left off from the chapter before the one you just finished. And of course you go "Ahhh!!! Holy crap!!! ShitShitShit! I can't go to bed with the freaking cop standing right there?! How will there be the rest of the book if ________ doesn't _______, but if they both __________, how is the cop _not_ going to catch/shoot/kill them?! And what about the _________? They still have to get the ________!!!"
So, of course, you read. And then it's 1:00 in the morning.
And, it's laced all throughout with great tidbits (and big tidbits) of how not only nothing in Christianity is new, but a lot of stuff was just plane rewritten. "Duh, of course," but lots of cool little pieces that weren't obvious. And, of course, the premise of the freaking book is a secret society, and who doesn't love reading about secret societies. Especially when they actually exist.
"
Yeah, well, I was thinking "damn, I haven't posted in days" and "damn, I need to go to bed," and thought up this ingenious fix.
Enjoy.
"
Wow, that book your mom got me is absolutely fantastic, "The Da Vinci Code," by Dan Brown. I can't put it down. John was right, Jonathan Franzen (author of The Corrections) is a better writer, but these are completely different books. This guy tells a story like you are being dragged through it by your hair. And you like it. The chapters are short, and each one sort of ends in its own little cliff hanger. The chapters alternate between scenes (action action action), and it seems that the majority of chapters end on the left page and the next chapter begins on the right page, so that when you glance over there (trying to stick the post-it note flag to hold the page so you can go to bed), the first few words hurl you back into where you left off from the chapter before the one you just finished. And of course you go "Ahhh!!! Holy crap!!! ShitShitShit! I can't go to bed with the freaking cop standing right there?! How will there be the rest of the book if ________ doesn't _______, but if they both __________, how is the cop _not_ going to catch/shoot/kill them?! And what about the _________? They still have to get the ________!!!"
So, of course, you read. And then it's 1:00 in the morning.
And, it's laced all throughout with great tidbits (and big tidbits) of how not only nothing in Christianity is new, but a lot of stuff was just plane rewritten. "Duh, of course," but lots of cool little pieces that weren't obvious. And, of course, the premise of the freaking book is a secret society, and who doesn't love reading about secret societies. Especially when they actually exist.
"
